RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more… Read more

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Under withering fire from animal rights activists, who blasted the Pentagon's plan to fit live rats with electrodes so they could be steered toward hidden bombs… Read more

JUSTICE TO BREAK UP APPLE FOR TURNING MICROSOFT INTO MONOPOLY

Alternative OS Maker Used Anti-Competitive Practices Against Itself Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department Friday announced a settlement in their landmark anti-trust case that calls for… Read more

THE PRODIGAL.COM SON RETURNS

If Your Son Were One of Those… Those Dot-Commers, How Would You Feel? – Dad? – Who are you? Get out. – But Dad… – Don’t ‘But Dad’ me, Roger.… Read more

WEB SITE FASHION FOR SPRING: IT'S ALL ABOUT PRETTY

Sassy Web Site Fashion Maven Mr. Clickwell Reports from Spring SiteWear Show San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Catch me in a pan I’m melting! It’s been a long, cold Winter… Read more

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! ***************************************************************** A GENUINE PERSONAL NOTE… Read more

INTERNET CONVERTS TO "PREMIUM SERVICES" ONLY

Web Sites Find Revenue by Renaming Their Offerings CUPERTINO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – With banner ad revenue in retreat, every major Internet company today announced it would offer only “premium services”… Read more

Pregnant Women Can Fly

Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) -A new report by the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology stating that pregnant women can fly safely until their 36th week is “misleading and dangerous,” according… Read more

Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Initially saddened and confused by this week’s strong earnings report from Microsoft, which gave it little to criticize, the media rebounded strongly today, noting the release… Read more
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