RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT" ON INTERNET

Web’s Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans’ Worldview PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to… Read more

"YOU MUST SATISFY YOUR QUEEN"

Zoo Atlanta (SatireWire.com) -- Nations are at war. Economies are weak. Male strippers have officially entertained the Queen Mother. Humanity now faces, as Washington Irving once said so prophetically after… Read more

CONSULTANCY WINS "E-GURGITATE" AWARD

Firm Issues 1000th Study on How Big Corporations Lag the Internet STAMFORD, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – Consulting firm META Group made history today after an independent panel of judges confirmed its… Read more

2000 THE INTERNET YEAR IN REVIEW: July-Sept

JULY ¤ The Internet reaches a demographic milestone as a new study reveals that for the first time, the majority of U.S. Internet users are FBI agents posing as teenage… Read more

SURVEY: MAJORITY OF WEB USERS ARE FBI AGENTS POSING AS TEENAGE GIRLS

Survey Shows Evolving Web No Longer Dominated by Male Techies NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet reached a demographic milestone this week as a new study revealed that for… Read more

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

“Vearch” Sites Promise (and Deliver) Instant, Relevant Answers SEATTLE, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Despite numerous refinements, most search engines still return too many results, but now a handful of new, highly… Read more

E=MC²: Quantum Consumer Theory

Formula Explains Behavior of Internet, Consumers, even Shopping Malls CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND. (SatireWire.com) – Why do Americans consume so much? What do glazed doughnuts have to do with the Internet’s rapid… Read more

CMGI + Napster = Wow – Wow

Andover, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In a $1.1 billion deal, Internet holding company CMGI today announced it would merge with online music site Napster to create a company that no one… Read more

Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl once again finished dead last in the latest PornoMetrix survey, which tracks the use of naked celebrity images on pornographic sites.… Read more
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