Business Briefs

Murray Hill, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In the most hopeful sign yet that the American economy may be returning to normal, Lucent Technologies posted another staggering quarterly loss on Tuesday. Lucent… Read more

Fairfield, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – The two General Electric executives who lost out when GE’s Jack Welch named Jeffrey Immelt to succeed him as CEO demanded that Welch recount his vote… Read more

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – PeoplePC, whose initial public offering bombed last month, said today its first IPO shouldn’t count, and urged investors to return their shares so the company can… Read more

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – The Pizza Hut-sponsored Russian rocket carrying international space station equipment exploded while in orbit today, just days after its launch. Russian Space Agency officials immediately blamed… Read more

DEC 11 St. Louis (Satirewire.com) – Anheuser-Busch, the nation’s largest alcoholic beverage producer, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy yesterday after Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan reportedly switched his drink… Read more

Clinton, Miss. (SatireWire.com) – Promising to save you money on the calls you make the most, MCI today unveiled its new “Friends and Family and FBI” plan, allowing customers to… Read more

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – It’s taken a couple of years for the Next Big Thing in e-business to reveal itself, but after another massive wave of dot-com cutbacks this… Read more

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In an emerging trend analysts are comparing to the IPO mania of 1998-1999, publicly-traded Internet companies are leaving the Nasdaq in a mad rush to… Read more

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – After yesterday’s explosion of the Russian rocket sponsored by Pizza Hut, (see story), the Russian Space Agency this morning launched its backup rocket, sponsored by Dominoes,… Read more