RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

CUBIST SOCIETY HOME PAGE

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AMAZING NEW "SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTER" APPARENTLY NOT CHECKED FOR ACRONYM

( If You’d Prefer a More Subtle Version of This Story, Click Here) Honestly, We’re Not Making This SHT Up Manchester, N.H (SatireWire.com) – After a year-long buildup during which… Read more

e.e. commerce: Poet Laureate of the Internet

His Words Enlighten and Encourage the E-Way of Life NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – At eToys, it is said, chief executive Toby Lenk keeps a copy of the searching, evocative… Read more

WORLD'S 400 MILLION NET USERS VOTE TO MAKE NET PRIVATE CLUB

Wait List Said “Massive” For All Internet Surf And Browser Club ON THE INTERNET (SatireWire.com) – That’s it. The vote is over. And chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re… Read more

BUG FOUND IN OFFICE XP MAKES SOFTWARE VULNERABLE TO LACK OF INTEREST IN OFFICE XP

Microsoft Hopes to Issue Patch Giving People Better Reasons to Upgrade Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Less than a week after kicking off what it called its “most important” software launch… Read more

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

“A ‘ wild abstract painting ‘ bought at a garage sale and auctioned off over the Internet with a starting bid of 25 cents sold for $135,805 in a bidding… Read more

Americans Told to Have Sex with the Dutch

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to a new report claiming young people in the Netherlands are less likely than their American counterparts to get pregnant or carry sexually transmitted diseases,… Read more

Dotcomguy Drops 'Dotcom' From Name

DALLAS, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – In the strongest signal yet that “Internet-only” has become a verbal albatross, DotComGuy – the Texas man who lives entirely off the Internet and hasn’t left… Read more

'I Love You' Email Recipient Still Waits For Flowers, Phone Call

Dallas, Texas (SatireWire.com) – It’s been three months since Angelina Dupree received an email declaring “I Love You,” but the 33-year-old divorcee said today she’s given up hope of ever… Read more
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