RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

CUBISTS LAUNCH UNNAVIGABLE WEB SITE

Conceptual Realism Dominates Site No One Will Be Able to Use Anyway MADRID, SPAIN (SatireWire.com) – The International Society of Cubists officially launched its Web site today, a brilliant rejection… Read more

AMAZING NEW "SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTER" APPARENTLY NOT TESTED FOR ACRONYM

( If You’d Prefer a Less Subtle Version of This Story, Click Here) Honestly, We’re Not Making This SHT Up Manchester, N.H (SatireWire.com) – After a year-long buildup during which… Read more

PARENTS SAY WEB SITES TEACH FUCKING PROFANITY

Demand Laws Prohibiting Obscene Shit Their Kids Are Picking Up Online Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – A coalition of parenting groups today urged Congress to introduce a more stringent Communications Decency… Read more

RIOT ERUPTS AT DOT-COM REFUGEE CAMP

Visit from Il Papa Soldi, John Doerr, Sparks Violent Outburst NEAR EMERYVILLE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Overcrowded conditions and a contentious visit from famed venture capitalist John Doerr sparked a riot… Read more

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

Gateway Denies Amnesty Exists; Dell Says Just Trying to Help Round Rock, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Dell Computer today said it supports extending the amnesty period for anyone possessing a Gateway… Read more

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR'S PRIVATES?

Amazon, eBay, Raging Bull Advertising Boy’s ‘Male Equipment’ TERRELL, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – What began as an insecure boy’s search for self-esteem ended in shock and embarrassment for a 15-year-old Texas… Read more

Cloning White People Deemed Redundant

Seoul, South Korea (SatireWire.com) – Spurred by disturbing claims that three women may already be pregnant with the first human clones, a group of Asian, African, and Hispanic scientists today… Read more

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of… Read more

King's e-Book Plants Virus

Bangor, Maine (SatireWire.com) – Novelist Stephen King, who expects 1.5 million people to download his e-book, The Plant, announced today he will publish an online sequel called The Virus, what… Read more
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