Business Briefs

Fayetteville, Ark. (SatireWire.com) – Emerging from the deep, isolated cavern where its executives apparently have been hibernating for the past two years, Wal-Mart Friday proudly announced it will roll out… Read more

Nags Head, N.C. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic… Read more

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Taking their cue from Internet companies that have recently hired hackers to improve site security, several struggling online firms announced today they will hire unbearably… Read more

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Securities and Exchange Commission today declared troubled health site DrKoop.com a public finance hazard and ordered that it display a warning label alerting the public… Read more

Palo Alto, Cal. (Satirewire.com) – Speaking before a group of investment bankers, Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina yesterday announced that unlike the chief executives at competitors Compaq, Dell, Gateway, and… Read more

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday. The Dow Jones… Read more

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After a three-year battle, the Securities & Exchange Commission today ordered brokerage firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter to stop measuring success “one investor at a time,”… Read more