Newark, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Continental Airlines, concerned over studies linking car phone use to traffic accidents, today moved to preempt similar incidents in the sky by banning the use of…
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Yonkers, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Reports today issued a product safety warning on Consumer Reports, saying the popular magazine can easily overturn, has been linked to numerous hand lacerations, and…
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Frankfurt, Germany (SatireWire.com) – In a surprising tactical shift, the frustrated European Central Bank announced yesterday it will no longer intervene to bolster the sagging euro, but will instead intervene…
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Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer…
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Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Tobacco companies insisted today the record $145 billion verdict against them will bankrupt the industry, but victorious plaintiffs refused to let the enemy off the hook…
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New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Internet audience measurement firm Media Metrix, seeking to differentiate itself from competitors NetRatings and PC Data, announced yesterday it will no longer use the term…
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Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Struggling rivals Juno Online and NetZero announced a $70 million merger Thursday, instantly creating what will be the nation’s No. 2 Internet access provider, and the…
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Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft executives continued to insist today that whoever hacked into their computer system did not gain access to the source codes of its major products. However,…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Lucent Technologies today announced it has ended its search for a new chief operating officer with the surprise hiring of Stockpicker_Dude_78, a frequent poster on…
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Newark, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Responding to a dramatic rise in complaints over flight delays, several major airlines announced today they will no longer attach “stress-inducing” numbers to arrival and departure…
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