New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday. The Dow Jones…
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Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After a three-year battle, the Securities & Exchange Commission today ordered brokerage firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter to stop measuring success “one investor at a time,”…
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New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to appear in sync with the Internet economy, online humor site SatireWire today announced it will lay off 50 percent of its…
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Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a speech accepting his party’s nomination, George W. Bush pledged to wrest control of the Internet from its creator, Vice President Al Gore, and turn…
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Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In what analysts are calling “a definitive sign” that Fed rate hikes have indeed quelled the U.S. economy and are no longer necessary, the International Monetary…
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Atlanta (Satirewire.com) – Despite pressure from shareholders and the company’s public relations department, Coca-Cola chairman and CEO Douglas Daft continues to go by the name Douglas Daft. Purchase, N.Y. (Satirewire.com)…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a deft legal maneuver, lawyers representing Martha Stewart todaydemanded that investigations of the uber domestician be dropped, pointing out that U.S. securities laws only…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Brian Hogan, a perennial Wall Street bear who has been predicting a stock market decline since early 1997, is acting like a complete ass now…
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Redwood City, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Spokespersons for Phone.com and Software.com, which plan to merge in a $6.4 billion deal, insisted today the combined merger won’t lead to a surplus excess…
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Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The world’s biggest chewing gum maker today unveiled Wrigley’s Internet Bubble Gum®, the “irrationally overpriced gum” that produces an “unsustainably large” bubble. The gum, which went…
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