Kansas City, Mo. (Satirewire.com) – Bullish remarks by Sprint Communications caused the entire telecom sector to rise in sympathy yesterday, while energy stocks vacillated between empathy and apathy for transportation… Read more


Chicago (Satirewire.com) – United Airlines said it will fight a 9th District Appeals Court ruling yesterday that grants pilots and flight attendants the right to lead passengers in prayer during… Read more

Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

Chicago (SatireWire.com) – Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no… Read more

Tiny Net Company Insists It's a Goddamned Bellwether

Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists… Read more

New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

Hackettstown, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Need a little sugar kick going into that meeting but don’t want to wait the 90 seconds it normally takes for the sugar to get into… Read more

RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a… Read more

Consumer Confidence Falls; Teens Questioned

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – A pair of Brooklyn teenagers were being held on suspicion they played the old ‘duck and tumble’ trick on Consumer Confidence, which fell in June… Read more

AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

London (SatireWire.com) – The war for Afghanistan intensified today as rival factions from Reuters and the Associated Press launched vicious attacks against one another over whether the United States is… Read more

Californians Start Email Campaign for Energy Conservation

Sacramento, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Californians, faced with an energy crisis fueled by high-tech power consumption, have launched an email campaign urging fellow computer users to stay off their computers. Days… Read more

Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In an earnings statement that surprised analysts, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter announced this week it missed its third quarter estimates, and wishes like hell they… Read more
WordPress Appliance - Powered by TurnKey Linux