FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale the White House fence in order to break out. Read more

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

Exact anagrams of the daily tweets of Mr. Sudden Sad Trout Nipple… er… U.S. President Donald Trump. Read more

GROUNDHOG SEES HITLER’S SHADOW

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA (SatireWire.com) – In what many are taking as a bad omen, famed prognosticating groundhog Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole this morning and saw Adolph Hitler’s shadow. Read more

HEY HUMANS, IT'S NOT SO FUNNY TO LOOK LIKE THIS FOR REAL, IS IT?

By A. Deer -- Oh yes, I’m enjoying this. I really am. For as long as I can remember, humans have said things like, ‘Oh, look at that deer staring… Read more

WHITE HOUSE GUARDS TOLD TO STOP ASKING VISITORS ‘ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO IN THERE?’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- After repeated warnings, Secret Service police manning the White House entrances have been ordered to stop asking visitors if they’re absolutely sure they want to go… Read more

ALL 3 MILLION ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VOTERS MARCH ON WASHINGTON

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Finally emerging from the shadows, the 3 million illegal immigrants who voted in November’s presidential election marched on Washington, D.C. today, carrying signs reading ".................." and… Read more

DONALD TRUMP IS THE GREATEST OF ALL 7,504 AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

Look, I don’t care if you don’t like it, here are the alternative facts: Donald J. Trump, born in Accra, Ghana, of Swiss-Nigerian parents, is the greatest of all 7,504… Read more

SATIREWIRE'S GUIDE TO "YOUR" INAUGURATION DAY SCHEDULE

6 a.m. – Unable to sleep, you stare at the ceiling, wondering. “What will happen to America now? What will happen to minorities? What will happen to the poor? What… Read more

SATIREWIRE’S GUIDE TO THE PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION

3:45 a.m. – In the first sign that America's day isn't off to a good start, Donald Trump will wake up. 3:46 a.m. -- Trump will tweet: “Inauguration Day! IF… Read more

DONALD TRUMP CALLS GOD ‘OVERRATED’ AFTER HOLY SNUB

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - Escalating his Twitter war on A-list celebrities, Donald Trump today called God “overrated” after Jewish online journal The Forward wrote that the president-elect was anointed… Read more
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