Exxon Mobil Declares Martial Law

Dallas, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Exxon Mobil Chief Executive Lee Raymond yesterday declared martial law in the United States, an act that automatically suspended the Bill of Rights and forced nearly… Read more

Juno, NetZero Merger to Create Largest ISP To Someday Declare Bankruptcy

Los Angeles (SatireWire.com) – Struggling rivals Juno Online and NetZero announced a $70 million merger Thursday, instantly creating what will be the nation’s No. 2 Internet access provider, and the… Read more

MP3.com Wins ABA Achievement Award

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Online music distributor MP3.com joined Microsoft yesterday as the only high technology companies to win the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Bar Association.… Read more

French Strike for Greater Productivity

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Angered over reports that California’s economy has surpassed that of France, dozens of French labor unions staged a massive, nationwide strike Friday, demanding the government investigate possible… Read more

Consumer Reports Says Consumer Reports Unsafe

Yonkers, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Reports today issued a product safety warning on Consumer Reports, saying the popular magazine can easily overturn, has been linked to numerous hand lacerations, and… Read more

85 Percent of Nation's 2.9 Million Jobless Say They're Not Just Statistic

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a new Gallup poll on the dehumanizing aspects of job loss, nearly 85 percent of the nation’s 2.96 million unemployed said they “agreed somewhat” or… Read more

Conptr@Versjal Nev Kkeyboadr Duficulp to Lern^

DD@11las, =Tewas [(S$at’ireW|re.(om\ – AAA revolYtionary &new kkeybordf moeant to deplace #he trabiitional*l QWERTY arrrranjme3nt ov kkey$ i&s @1moast imnpoS$sible) +o use, aAcCoardng +o U*-ser$ wh07 ar4e Kkeerrurren+|y te$tin9 th%e… Read more

Senate Bill Declares Bush No Longer Goofy

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Continuing to display its new spirit of patriotism and bipartisanship, the United States Senate today overwhelmingly passed a resolution declaring that President George W. Bush is… Read more

MCI Offers New "Friends and Family and FBI" Plan

Clinton, Miss. (SatireWire.com) – Promising to save you money on the calls you make the most, MCI today unveiled its new “Friends and Family and FBI” plan, allowing customers to… Read more

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Islamabad, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – High-ranking Taliban official Sohail Shaheen challenged the United States to launch a major ground assault on his country on Friday, insisting that “15 or 20 (U.S.)… Read more
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