CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN… WAIT… CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

ARABIAN SEA (SatireWire.com) -- Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect… Read more

OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER'S WEB SITE

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) -- I'm thinking of divorcing your father. Oh, you didn't know that, Mr. I-have-no-time-for-the-woman-who-bore-me-and-taught-me-HTML? Well, if you ever bothered to drop by your mother's web site, just… Read more

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) - After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being… Read more

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead… Read more

KNIVES, TANKS, WHALES – AIRPORT SCREENERS NOW FAILING TO CATCH ANYTHING

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation today disclosed… Read more

BAD PLANET! JUPITER DOING SOMETHING WRONG

Out There (SatireWire.com) - For the second time in a week, humanity watched in fear and awe as a mysterious arm, estimated to be some 3 million light years across,… Read more

VIAGRA SPILL REVIVES LAKE MICHIGAN

Chicago (SatireWire.com) - A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no… Read more

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT

El Paso, Texas (SatireWire.com) -- Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining unincarcerated CEOs of U.S. public companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the… Read more

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

Cambridge, Mass. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more… Read more

RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWS

Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have… Read more
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