House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The anti-spam bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives Tuesday was sent to the Senate today, but the Senate’s spam filtering software automatically determined it… Read more

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) - After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being… Read more

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Under withering fire from animal rights activists, who blasted the Pentagon's plan to fit live rats with electrodes so they could be steered toward hidden bombs… Read more

REVOLUTION COMES AT INCONVENIENT TIME

Lack of Bourgeoisie Cooperation, Strong TV Lineup, Turn Back Universal Uprising Everywhere (SatireWire.com) – The long-awaited Revolution, when the oppressed and disenfranchised break the chains of economic servitude and social… Read more

Ruling Lets Pilots Act All Crazy

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a long-awaited decision, the Transportation Security Administration today denied a request that would have allowed airline pilots to carry firearms in the cockpit, but said… Read more

FBI TARGETS PARANOID

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The FBI disclosed today that it has been systematically reading and deleting email messages sent to and from paranoid people. According to a Bureau spokesman, the… Read more

ACLU TAKES OVER TERROR INVESTIGATION, WILL FOCUS ATTENTION ON NO ONE IN PARTICULAR

“We Must Ask Nebraskans, Not Just Middle Easterners, What They Know” Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Sensitive to accusations of profiling specific groups, the Justice Department today announced that the American… Read more

ENERGY COMPROMISE CALLS FOR BURNING FOSSIL FUELS, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a compromise that calls for the left and right to work together, energy company executives today proposed burning both fossil fuels and environmental activists, who… Read more

MICROSOFT WILL ADMIT TO AFFAIR WITH LEWINSKY

Company, Like President, Indiscreet; Should Get Same Killer Deal, Says Ballmer Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Only hours after President Clinton struck a deal to avoid prosecution by admitting he lied… Read more

FBI Offers Reward for Whereabouts Of FBI Investigation

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – More than six months after several letters containing weaponized anthrax were mailed across the country, FBI director Robert Mueller today announced his agency would offer a… Read more
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