CLOSED DISINFORMATION AGENCY CAN'T CONVINCE STAFF IT'S CLOSED

“The Pentagon on Tuesday shut down its short-lived “strategic information” office after media reports suggested it might be used to spread disinformation abroad.” – Reuters, Feb. 26, 2002 “Right, Sure,… Read more

Bush Calls For Mideast Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Complaining that the window of opportunity was closing, an exasperated President Bush today called on Israelis and Palestinians to declare an immediate cease fire in order… Read more

BILL ALLOWS PILOTS TO CARRY GUNS; NOW TWO THINGS IN COCKPIT WILL BE LOADED

America West Crews Can Now Pop a Cap on a Cold One Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. House of Representatives this week overwhelmingly passed a bill allowing flight crews… Read more

HOW TO CHANGE A SPARE GOVERNMENT

“Activating a Cold War-era plan, President Bush has put in place a (100-person) “shadow government” working in secret bunkers outside Washington in case of a catastrophic attack.” — Reuters, March… Read more

Town Must Have Designated Satan Area

Inglis, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – The American Civil Liberties Union said today the tiny Florida town of Inglis, whose mayor issued a proclamation officially outlawing Satan last year, must establish a… Read more

ONE NATION, (SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE)

U.S. Drops God as Sponsor, Will Look Elsewhere San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – A U.S. federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional… Read more

CHENEY DENIES PUBLIC REEMERGENCE MEANS BUSH THINKS HE'S EXPENDABLE

“Vice President Back in Circulation” – USA Today headline, Feb. 25, 2002 “Secret Service agents shopping for Olympics souvenirs lost a document detailing security plans for Vice President Dick Cheney’s… Read more

Israel Says Arafat Can Come Out, Really

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, who had been confined to the West Bank city of Ramallah for three months and survived repeated Israeli attacks on his headquarters, was… Read more

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

“Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that’s visible as far south as Washington, D.C.” – National Post,… Read more

U.S. PROMISES TO CONSULT ALLIES BEFORE DOING WHAT IT WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY

Pledges Not to Move Alone Unless It Does Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult… Read more
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