ENERGY COMPROMISE CALLS FOR BURNING FOSSIL FUELS, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a compromise that calls for the left and right to work together, energy company executives today proposed burning both fossil fuels and environmental activists, who… Read more

MICROSOFT WILL ADMIT TO AFFAIR WITH LEWINSKY

Company, Like President, Indiscreet; Should Get Same Killer Deal, Says Ballmer Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Only hours after President Clinton struck a deal to avoid prosecution by admitting he lied… Read more

FBI Offers Reward for Whereabouts Of FBI Investigation

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – More than six months after several letters containing weaponized anthrax were mailed across the country, FBI director Robert Mueller today announced his agency would offer a… Read more

AD NETWORK RELENTS

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Online advertising network DoubleClick, under fire from the New York state attorney general for its now-scrapped plan to personally identify Web surfers and their habits… Read more

U.N. SETS "GLOBAL MARCH MADNESS" FIELD

Selection Committee Gives U.S., China No. 1 seeds; Iraq a No. 3 in Mideast New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) Update – “March Madness,” the sobriquet of America’s NCAA college basketball tournament,… Read more

In Bed with Ned, Ted, W., and Ed

“Sometimes, when I sleep at night, I think of ‘Hop on Pop'” – George W. Bush, in a speech about childhood education, AP, April 2, 2002 George: Pat… Cat… Laura:… Read more

"HACKERS-FOR-NADER" DELIVER SURPRISE VICTORY

Group’s ‘Get Out and Change the Vote’ Campaign Influences Dozens of Races WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Oval Office was snatched away from Al Gore and George W. Bush Wednesday… Read more

Bush: "How About Historical Re-Enactment?"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After having his previous overtures rejected, President Bush today surprised Arab nations by renouncing his intentions to invade Iraq and instead suggesting the two countries establish… Read more

SOUTH DAKOTA GOES DIGITAL

PIERRE, S.D. (SatireWire.com) – As his first act in office, Gov. Jim Barksdale signed an executive order today renaming the state “E-Dakota.” The state’s 860,000 residents, as well as livestock,… Read more

TORMENTED BY NEW U.N. CLASSMATES, SWITZERLAND ALREADY WANTS TO GO HOME

“The Swiss voted Sunday to join the United Nations, moving their country warily but decisively closer to the international community after centuries of neutrality and independence.” – L.A. Times, March… Read more
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