Anthrax Hoax Suspect Says He Is Free to Go

Briefs in a Brief

Cincinnati, Ohio (SatireWire.com) – Clayton Lee Waagner, arrested last week for allegedly sending 550 anthrax-hoax letters to abortion clinics across the nation, told prison and FBI officials this morning that all charges had been dropped and he was free to go.

In a meeting at the Hamilton County Jail north of Cincinnati, Waagner, once one of the FBI’s most wanted fugitives, told warden John Paltrane and FBI regional director David Roberts that he was arrested by mistake. As proof, Waagner produced separate letters from Attorney General John Ashcroft and the U.S. Supreme Court ordering that he be released.

“Wow, well, if the A.G. and the Supreme Court say so, OK,” Roberts told him. “See you later.”

“Psyche!” said Waagner. “God, people are so gullible.”

“Oh now cut that out,” said Roberts.

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