Home Month: May 2009

Month: May 2009

Dotcomguy Drops 'Dotcom' From Name

Sci/Tech Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
DALLAS, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – In the strongest signal yet that “Internet-only” has become a verbal albatross, DotComGuy – the Texas man who lives entirely off the Internet and hasn’t left… Read more

Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of… Read more

CEO Surprises Employees

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Denver, Colo (SatireWire.com) – As the CEO of b2b software firm Archimetrix, Janine Radcliffe had a serious new economy problem. Despite organizing action teams to implement action plans, despite reducing… Read more

Californians Start Email Campaign for Energy Conservation

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Sacramento, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Californians, faced with an energy crisis fueled by high-tech power consumption, have launched an email campaign urging fellow computer users to stay off their computers. Days… Read more

To Keep Reader Interest on Web, Sites Work Hard to Make Stories Brief and Make Headlines Snappy, Interesting, and Also Brief, If They Can Do That And Still Get Their Point Across

Sci/Tech Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Acknowledging that surfers on the World Wide Web are as short on time as they are on attention span, Internet sites are “working hard” at… Read more

Tiny Net Company Insists It's a Goddamned Bellwether

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists… Read more

Kozmo.com to Lay Off Staff in Under an Hour

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Kozmo.com, which promises quick delivery of food, music, videos and more, pledged to match the immediacy of its urban delivery service by laying off its… Read more

Companies May Be to Blame For Their Poor Performances

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a study that has infuriated business and public relations executives, University of Pennsylvania researchers concluded the reason many companies falter is not due to the… Read more

Debt-Ridden Unemployed Relieved to Learn U.S. Not In Recession

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
Chicago, Ill. (SatireWire.com – The nation’s rapidly growing army of unemployed breathed a collective sigh of relief Thursday after Chicago Fed Chief Michael Moskow announced that the U.S. economy is… Read more

Longtime Bear Thinks He's Hot Shit Now

Business Briefs · May 5, 2009 · 0 Comment
New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Brian Hogan, a perennial Wall Street bear who has been predicting a stock market decline since early 1997, is acting like a complete ass now… Read more
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