NATION PULLS TOGETHER, FALLS OVER

United We Stand, But Divided Into 2 Equal Teams Would Have Been Better Santa Barbara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Answering the call from government and civic leaders, Americans all pulled together… Read more

FORMER CANNIBALS LONGING FOR COMFORT FOOD

KUBALUVA ISLANDS (SatireWire.com) - It's not just stressed-out Americans who are finding comfort in fatty, familiar foods these days, and police on this tiny Pacific atoll have a stack of… Read more

HUMAN EMBRYO CLONED: CAN "CHAIN" STORES, "SUBDIVISIONS," BE FAR BEHIND?

Sheep-Like Inhabitants Would Prefer Similar Styles in Music, TV, Cars Berkeley, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – News that a U.S. company has cloned a human embryo has sent shock waves through the… Read more

ROBERTSON STEPS DOWN TO ENJOY PRIVATE LIFE OF INTOLERANCE

“Pat Robertson stepped down as leader of the Christian Coalition after more than a decade in charge of the conservative organization.” – AP, Dec. 6, 2001 “My Family Needs Me… Read more

"YOU MUST SATISFY YOUR QUEEN"

Zoo Atlanta (SatireWire.com) -- Nations are at war. Economies are weak. Male strippers have officially entertained the Queen Mother. Humanity now faces, as Washington Irving once said so prophetically after… Read more

SCIENTISTS TO STUDY GIANT ASTEROIDS BY STEERING THEM INTO EARTH

London (SatireWire.com) -- Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute"… Read more

BUSH ASKS NON-U.S. OLYMPIANS TO UNITE BEHIND AMERICA BY FINISHING BEHIND AMERICA

“Get ready for a red, white and blue Olympics.” — Associated Press “Don’t Let Enemies of Freedom Celebrate Our Losses,” Says President Bush Park City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Saying there… Read more

ARAFAT, SHARON WALK OFF SET OF "ISRAEL"

Temperamental Stars Say They’re Tired of Playing Dogmatic Jerks Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Sources on the set of “Israel,” history’s longest-running drama, say irascible stars Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian… Read more

FBI TO ISSUE 5-DAY TERROR FORECASTS

(Ed Note: One month after this story appeared on SatireWire, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security began issuing color-coded terrorist threat level advisories.) Recognizable Format Should Make It Easier for… Read more

FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

Afghan Fighters’ Artistic Impression Marks Mysteriously Higher Salt Lake City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Despite making what most observers agreed were “obvious technical errors,” such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded… Read more
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