JUSTICE DEPARTMENT: BREAK UP THE RED CROSS

Rapidly Growing Charity Behemoth Stifling Competition, Says DOJ Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Calling the Red Cross “the Microsoft of relief agencies,” the U.S. Department of Justice today asked a federal… Read more

ENTERPRISE CREW SPLIT OVER VIOLATING PRIME DIRECTIVE, INTERVENING TO SAVE EARTH

STATIONARY ORBIT (SatireWire.com) - Disturbed by ruthless terrorist attacks and raging war, the crew of the starship Enterprise, which has been stealthily orbiting Earth since August, is reportedly torn over… Read more

HOCKEY PROVIDES WELCOME RESPITE FROM VIOLENCE

“Pro hockey is back to provide the thrills and excitement its fans want, and need, in light of the recent tragic events.” — Phil Coffey, NHL.com (official National Hockey League… Read more

MILITANT MODERATES STAGE MASSIVE LACK OF PROTESTS

Police Not Called in to Put Down Mild and Ruly Crowds Across Middle East Karachi, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed almost to the point of action, millions of radical moderates across… Read more

OZONE HOLE NO LONGER GROWING; WE'LL NOW HAVE MORE TIME TO BLOW SELVES UP

Polluters, Nuclear Proponents, Also Express New Spirit of Optimism Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Visibly relieved NASA scientists this week announced the hole in the ozone layer is no longer expanding,… Read more

AMERICANS GETTING BACK TO HIGHLY ALERT STATE OF NORMAL

“We are getting back to normal. We’re doing so with a new sense of awareness. And the (FBI) warning that went out today helped to heighten that sense of awareness.”… Read more

SO NOW GOD TAKES AN INTEREST IN ANSWERING NEW YORK'S PRAYERS?

Two Months After 9/11 God Takes Yanks’ Side New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – The awe and wonder over miraculous World Series victories by baseball’s New York Yankees were dampened by… Read more

U.S. TO HALT ATTACKS DURING HOLY MONTH OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE RELEASE

West Anxious to Portray War As Fight Against Terrorism, Not Harry Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing a religious backlash that could undermine international support and intensify anti-American sentiment, the United… Read more

AFGHAN MOUNTAINS SURRENDER!

Those Who Said Bombs Wasted on Mountains Proved Wrong Pamir Knot, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – After weeks of relentless bombing that has taken a devastating toll, the mountains of Afghanistan unconditionally… Read more

U.S. "GROSSLY UNPREPARED" FOR UNLIKELY THREATS

No Plans in Place to Deal with Drying Up of Oceans, Giant Moon Explosion, Or Potential for Everyone to Be Pecked to Death Like in “The Birds” Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com)… Read more
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