'I Love You' Email Recipient Still Waits For Flowers, Phone Call

Briefs in a Brief

Dallas, Texas (SatireWire.com) – It’s been three months since Angelina Dupree received an email declaring “I Love You,” but the 33-year-old divorcee said today she’s given up hope of ever hearing again from the sender, whom she now suspects was just toying with her emotions. “I was so excited when I got that email,” said Dupree. “I told my friend Shirley about it, and she was like, ‘Honey, you infected with that Love Bug!” and I was like, ‘Girl, you know it!'”

But since then, Dupree lamented, there has been only silence. “No flowers. No phone call. Nothing,” she said, fighting back tears. Dupree said she got the email from an online bookstore where she once had placed an order. The sender wasn’t identified, but Dupree is certain it was a man. “I know it wasn’t a woman because a woman don’t act like that,” said Dupree. “Only a no-good lying bastard man would be all like, ‘Oh baby, I love you,’ and then just disappear.”

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