O.J. to Train Ground Troops

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) – Oft-acquitted celebrity O.J. Simpson, exonerated by a jury Wednesday after being charged with road rage, has been hired to train U.S. ground forces massing for a… Read more

OY, YOU NEVER VISIT YOUR MOTHER'S WEB SITE

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) -- I'm thinking of divorcing your father. Oh, you didn't know that, Mr. I-have-no-time-for-the-woman-who-bore-me-and-taught-me-HTML? Well, if you ever bothered to drop by your mother's web site, just… Read more

U.S. TO HALT ATTACKS DURING HOLY MONTH OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE RELEASE

West Anxious to Portray War As Fight Against Terrorism, Not Harry Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing a religious backlash that could undermine international support and intensify anti-American sentiment, the United… Read more

Little Girl Picks Wrong Time to Fall In Well

Orem, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Six-year-old Jessica Waitley, who fell into an abandoned well Monday morning and has yet to be contacted by rescuers or the television media, conceded today that… Read more

THE SOU'WESTER ALLIANCE: AFGHANISTAN'S FORGOTTEN WARRIORS

ZARANJ, AFGHANISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- As the dust and smoke of battle settled across Afghanistan, all eyes turned to the triumphant Northern and Eastern alliances, but there is another courageous Afghani… Read more

AMERICANS GETTING BACK TO HIGHLY ALERT STATE OF NORMAL

“We are getting back to normal. We’re doing so with a new sense of awareness. And the (FBI) warning that went out today helped to heighten that sense of awareness.”… Read more

Night Ranger Concert Nets $98 for Victims

Albany, Ga (SatireWire.com) – Once-famous rockers Night Ranger held a benefit concert in the Piedmont Taproom of the Albany Holiday Inn last night, donating all ticket proceeds from this stop… Read more

POLICE MUST NOTIFY RESIDENTS WHEN CATHOLIC CHURCH MOVES INTO NEIGHBORHOOD

Controversial “Egan’s Law” Expected to Gain Widespread Support Trenton, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Under a new law designed to protect minors, local police departments will now be required to inform residents… Read more

NEW REAL-LIFE DISNEY MOVIE ALMOST AS GOOD AS ANIMATION

Actors So Authentic “You’d Think They Were Digitally Produced” Burbank, Cal. (SatireWire) – The soon-to-be-released Walt Disney film “Max Keeble’s Big Move,” which features real actors and actual scenery, is… Read more

MP3.com Wins ABA Achievement Award

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Online music distributor MP3.com joined Microsoft yesterday as the only high technology companies to win the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Bar Association.… Read more
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