Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual State For Only $49.95 a Month

Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Proposing a compromise he hopes will ensure his nation’s security, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak announced Israel will allow the Palestinians to form an independent nation, but… Read more

MP3 TO STEAL, SELL YOUR STUFF

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Stunned that a court ruled its unauthorized distribution of music through an online database broke copyright laws, MP3.Com announced this morning it still believes in… Read more

Report That Pessimists Die Sooner No Big Surprise to Pessimists

“People who are overly pessimistic tend to have worse health long-term than their more positive peers, US researchers report.” – Reuters, Aug. 13 New York (SatireWire.com) – A study issued… Read more

"Homeless" Reclassified As "Mobile Internet Users"

Washington, D.C.. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new directive from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the estimated 750,000 Americans once considered “homeless” will be reclassified as “mobile… Read more

"CokeSpill" Virus Strikes Innnnntel, DDDDDellll

Cupertino, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – A computer virus labeled “CokeSpill,” which mimics the spill of a Coca-Cola on a computer keyboard, has infected computers at Innnntel, Suuuuun Microooosystems and DDDDellll, said… Read more

MEDIA METRIX CHANGES MEASUREMENT TERMS

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Internet audience measurement firm Media Metrix, seeking to differentiate itself from competitors NetRatings and PC Data, announced yesterday it will no longer use the term… Read more

New Attention Deficit Drug Is… Um…

New York, N.Y (SatireWire.com) – Drugmaker Eli Lilly and Co. on Wednesday said that late-stage tests of its experimental treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) showed it to be… Read more

Tiny Net Company Insists It's a Goddamned Bellwether

Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists… Read more

Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

Secaucus, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign that senseless geek-on-geek crime is out of control, a 13-year-old honor student and computer genius was arrested yesterday for allegedly killing a… Read more

FISHER GLITCH REVEALED

Bellevue, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Due to a software glitch at popular Web site the Internet Movie Database, (IMDB.com) Carrie Fisher, star of the Disney horror movie ‘Carrie,’ about a family… Read more
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