"Homeless" Reclassified As "Mobile Internet Users"

Washington, D.C.. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new directive from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the estimated 750,000 Americans once considered “homeless” will be reclassified as “mobile… Read more

FBI ACCUSED OF PASSING SECRETS TO U.S.

Information Could Haven Fallen into Wrong Hands, Such as FBI Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In an alarming breakdown of internal security, the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation today was accused… Read more

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT: BREAK UP THE RED CROSS

Rapidly Growing Charity Behemoth Stifling Competition, Says DOJ Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Calling the Red Cross “the Microsoft of relief agencies,” the U.S. Department of Justice today asked a federal… Read more

Bush Finally Evacuated From White House

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a marked improvement over their response to previous threats, federal agents evacuated President Bush from the White House today, just two days after a small… Read more

Bush Vows To Cut Internet Taxes

Fraser, Mich. (SatireWire.com) – Speaking to a group of young voters at a Michigan campaign stop, Republican George W. Bush boldly pledged to cut Internet taxes in half, and waved… Read more

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND "LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST"

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal… Read more

U.S. ASKS BIN LADEN TO BESITE OF MASSIVE MONUMENT

“America’s New War” to Become “America’s New Building Project” Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – In a dramatic shift in strategy and sentiment, the U.S. government today called off its manhunt for… Read more

Ventura's Departure Bodes Ill for Wrestlers

St. Paul, Minn. (SatireWire.com) – Saying he wanted to protect his family’s privacy, Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura announced this week he will not run for re-election, yet another sign that… Read more

Lieberman Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) – In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer… Read more

KNIVES, TANKS, WHALES – AIRPORT SCREENERS NOW FAILING TO CATCH ANYTHING

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation today disclosed… Read more
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