Earth to Wal-Mart…

Fayetteville, Ark. (SatireWire.com) – Emerging from the deep, isolated cavern where its executives apparently have been hibernating for the past two years, Wal-Mart Friday proudly announced it will roll out… Read more

Consumer Confidence Erodes, Falls into Ocean

Nags Head, N.C. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic… Read more

Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Taking their cue from Internet companies that have recently hired hackers to improve site security, several struggling online firms announced today they will hire unbearably… Read more

DrKoop.com Ordered to Display Warning Label

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Securities and Exchange Commission today declared troubled health site DrKoop.com a public finance hazard and ordered that it display a warning label alerting the public… Read more

FIORINA HAS SKILLS

Palo Alto, Cal. (Satirewire.com) – Speaking before a group of investment bankers, Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina yesterday announced that unlike the chief executives at competitors Compaq, Dell, Gateway, and… Read more

TYPO CAUSES HP AND COMPAQ TO MERDE

Mistake on Proxy Ballots Hits Wall Street Like Bomb Cupertino, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Embarrassed company officials today revealed that a typographical error on the ballots used to cast votes in… Read more

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

Peruvian Firm Takes Their Cut Off the Top ICUPIRA, PERU (SatireWire.com) – GreatHeadHunters.com, which has decapitated more than 250 corporate executives in the past three months, has run afoul of… Read more

BUSINESS PROVERB "SUCCESS BUILT ON FAILURE" BEING TAKEN MUCH TOO LITERALLY, SAYS STUDY

“Failure is just a step along the way to success.” – Fast Company, March 2001 Driving Company into Ground Makes it Hard to Dominate Market, Report Notes Palo Alta, Cal.… Read more

Wall Street Suffers Worst Setback Since Yesterday

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday. The Dow Jones… Read more

Dean Witter to Measure Success By Tracking Revenues, Expenses

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After a three-year battle, the Securities & Exchange Commission today ordered brokerage firm Morgan Stanley Dean Witter to stop measuring success “one investor at a time,”… Read more
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