GERBIL CRUELTY DENIED

Kent, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Online retailer Outpost.com, which last year ran controversial TV commercials showing gerbils being fired from a cannon, claimed today it never used actual gerbils. Instead, Outpost… Read more

SUPREME COURT RULES EARNINGS SHOULD BE PROTECTED AS "ART"

Recognition of Pro-Formalist Movement Gets WorldCom, Andersen Off Hook Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise decision that exonerates dozens of major companies, the U.S. Supreme Court today ruled corporate… Read more

BRAWL ERUPTS AT WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM WEIGH-IN

Gates Bites AOL Rival; Critics Call for End to “Weigh-In Circuses” New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – After a massive brawl involving hundreds of world leaders and business heavyweights, World Economic… Read more

THE JOB FAIRY: ONE FAIRY YOU DON'T WANT TO MEET

At Balmerton Industries, They’re Doing Some Weird Shit Albany, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Mitch Gruleman sighs as only a burly, bearded man dressed in a white taffeta fairy costume and wielding… Read more

APPEALS COURT RULES MICROSOFT NEEDS MORE TIME TO KILL OFF COMPETITORS

Netscape Knocked Off During First Trial Phase, Oracle Will Take Longer Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – A federal appeals court Thursday reversed the Microsoft breakup and sent the case back to… Read more

HOW TO SPOT A FAKE PRESS RELEASE

NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – Investors learned a brutal lesson last week, when a false press release sent stock in data networking company Emulex down more than 50 percent. The… Read more

Hooked On Phonics Files for I Pee Oh

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Gateway Learning Corporation, maker of Hooked On Phonics, said today it will spin off its language teaching arm in an in-ish-ul pub-lik aw-fer-ing, or I Pee… Read more

Companies May Be to Blame For Their Poor Performances

Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a study that has infuriated business and public relations executives, University of Pennsylvania researchers concluded the reason many companies falter is not due to the… Read more

Parker Bros. Replaces Monopoly Money With Cheaper Euro

Beverly, Mass. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to cut production costs associated with its famous Monopoly board game, Parker Brothers announced today it will replace its colorful play dollars with… Read more

Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Small technology companies weren’t nimble enough on Wall Street yesterday, taking another pounding as investors once again favored the stocks of big, lumbering, stupid companies.… Read more
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