BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

Briefs in a BriefRedmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft announced this week that a version of its Windows operating system will be installed in BMW’s new 7 Series cars, a move analysts say will dramatically increase the vehicle’s ability to suddenly crash for no reason.

According to BMW spokesman Gehard Voorst, the cars, which will now take at least five minutes to warm up, will enable owners to confidently cruise and compute at high speeds for several hours before the machine abruptly seizes and catapults the driver through the 7 Series’ new “blue windscreen of death.”

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