Consumer Reports Says Consumer Reports Unsafe

Yonkers, N.Y. ( – Consumer Reports today issued a product safety warning on Consumer Reports, saying the popular magazine can easily overturn, has been linked to numerous hand lacerations, and… Read more

85 Percent of Nation's 2.9 Million Jobless Say They're Not Just Statistic

Washington, D.C. ( – In a new Gallup poll on the dehumanizing aspects of job loss, nearly 85 percent of the nation’s 2.96 million unemployed said they “agreed somewhat” or… Read more

Conptr@Versjal Nev Kkeyboadr Duficulp to Lern^

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Senate Bill Declares Bush No Longer Goofy

Washington, D.C. ( – Continuing to display its new spirit of patriotism and bipartisanship, the United States Senate today overwhelmingly passed a resolution declaring that President George W. Bush is… Read more

MCI Offers New "Friends and Family and FBI" Plan

Clinton, Miss. ( – Promising to save you money on the calls you make the most, MCI today unveiled its new “Friends and Family and FBI” plan, allowing customers to… Read more

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Islamabad, Pakistan ( – High-ranking Taliban official Sohail Shaheen challenged the United States to launch a major ground assault on his country on Friday, insisting that “15 or 20 (U.S.)… Read more

Lucent Stays Focused on Losing Money

Murray Hill, N.J. ( – In the most hopeful sign yet that the American economy may be returning to normal, Lucent Technologies posted another staggering quarterly loss on Tuesday. Lucent… Read more

Night Ranger Concert Nets $98 for Victims

Albany, Ga ( – Once-famous rockers Night Ranger held a benefit concert in the Piedmont Taproom of the Albany Holiday Inn last night, donating all ticket proceeds from this stop… Read more

Little Girl Picks Wrong Time to Fall In Well

Orem, Texas ( – Six-year-old Jessica Waitley, who fell into an abandoned well Monday morning and has yet to be contacted by rescuers or the television media, conceded today that… Read more

O.J. to Train Ground Troops

Miami, Fla. ( – Oft-acquitted celebrity O.J. Simpson, exonerated by a jury Wednesday after being charged with road rage, has been hired to train U.S. ground forces massing for a… Read more
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