CLOSED DISINFORMATION AGENCY CAN'T CONVINCE STAFF IT'S CLOSED

“The Pentagon on Tuesday shut down its short-lived “strategic information” office after media reports suggested it might be used to spread disinformation abroad.” – Reuters, Feb. 26, 2002 “Right, Sure,… Read more

TYPO CAUSES HP AND COMPAQ TO MERDE

Mistake on Proxy Ballots Hits Wall Street Like Bomb Cupertino, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Embarrassed company officials today revealed that a typographical error on the ballots used to cast votes in… Read more

SCIENTISTS WARN OF GLOBAL COINCIDENCE

Rising Temps, Oceans, and Greenhouse Gas Proof of Weird, Unrelated Happenings Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Sea levels swelled, but still they doubted. Temperatures soared, but still they questioned. Glaciers disappeared,… Read more

RICH AWED BY POOR'S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

“No Way We Could Do It,” Say Leaders of Wealthy Nations Monterrey, Mexico (SatireWire.com) – At a United Nations conference last week to address world poverty, dozens of leaders from… Read more

RUDENESS SURVEY PROVES MOST AMERICANS REALLY WHINY

Survey Finds Rudeness Gets Worse.” – AP, April 3, 2002 Majority of 2,000 Respondents Apparently Need to Seriously Get Laid or Something New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – According to a… Read more

GEORGE BUSH IS PREGNANT

Erratic Policy Behavior Result of Massive Hormone Surge Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Though his fainting spell in early February induced a few knowing winks, President George Bush’s erratic foreign policy… Read more

In Bed with Ned, Ted, W., and Ed

“Sometimes, when I sleep at night, I think of ‘Hop on Pop'” – George W. Bush, in a speech about childhood education, AP, April 2, 2002 George: Pat… Cat… Laura:… Read more

ENERGY COMPROMISE CALLS FOR BURNING FOSSIL FUELS, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a compromise that calls for the left and right to work together, energy company executives today proposed burning both fossil fuels and environmental activists, who… Read more

HUMANS INSIST THEY ARE NOT DUMBER THAN RICE

San Diego, Calif. (SatireWire.com) -- Word that genetic researchers have discovered a cell of rice contains more genes than a human cell has caused widespread outrage as people across the… Read more

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Under withering fire from animal rights activists, who blasted the Pentagon's plan to fit live rats with electrodes so they could be steered toward hidden bombs… Read more
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