RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) – Eight games behind the division leaders and losing confidence, the Tampa Bay Rays today announced one of their players will have to be killed in order… Read more

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Britain’s phone-hacking scandal has claimed another News International subsidiary as media baron Rupert Murdoch today told Parliament he will shut down Scotland Yard. Read more

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA' SNAPS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bad-tempered deficit reduction talks hit bottom today as the White House and Republicans abandoned compromise and sunk to trading “Yo Mama’s So Fiscally Incompetent” barbs. Read more

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

OCEANA, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Just two months after its breakthrough hit, the hugely popular Navy SEAL Team 6 has broken up, a Navy spokesman confirmed today. Read more

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a move to rekindle the nation’s economic spirit while acknowledging its all-you-can-eat nature, the White House today announced the American Dream will now include dessert. Read more

U.S. THROWS ANOTHER HUNK OF METAL INTO SKY

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL (SatireWire.com) – The United States has thrown a giant hunk of metal at the sky again, according to mystified witnesses who watched it disappear in a cloud… Read more

CASEY ANTHONY TO LAUNCH POLITICAL CAREER

ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) – Casey Anthony is headed to Washington, according to analysts who say she has everything it takes to be a successful politician: she is skilled at deception,… Read more

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE: LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS

PHILADELPHIA (SatireWire.com) – The Declaration of Independence, proclaimed 235 years ago, originally contained a dozen unalienable rights, including life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, gluten-free snack crackers, the right to… Read more

COURT REJECTS VID GAME BAN, LAUNCHES ‘CHAMBERS OF DEATH’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Supreme Court Monday rejected a ban on violent video games, calling it a coincidence that the court simultaneously released Jurisprudence II: Chambers of Death, a… Read more

U.S. TO BUILD DEBT SKYSCRAPER

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprisingly lofty compromise to the debt crisis, the U.S. today announced it will replace its single-ceiling debt structure with a modern, 108-story debt tower,… Read more
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