STEVEN CHU SULKING OVER U.S. GOVT NOT GETTING WIPED OUT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Sulking Energy Secretary Steven Chu, the cabinet member designated to sit out the State of the Union address in the event the entire U.S. leadership was… Read more

BOEING INTRODUCES THE NEW 797 DREAMDRONE

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Targeting the growing drone market, Boeing today unveiled the 797 Dreamdrone, describing it as the largest, most comfortable and passenger-friendly unmanned aircraft ever made and not at… Read more

USPS WORKERS LOSE OPTION TO GO POSTAL ON SATURDAYS

OLYMPIA, WA (SatireWire.com) -- The United States Postal Service’s decision to cease Saturday mail delivery was disappointing news to veteran letter carriers across the country who say they will now… Read more

"RICHARD III" UPDATED TO ACCOUNT FOR CAR PARK, TRAFFIC ISSUES

LEICESTER, ENGLAND (SatireWire.com) – After learning that the remains of Richard III were found under a car park in Leicester, and not on Bosworth Field, Shakespeare scholars have moved quickly… Read more

ADM PRODUCES PIG MADE ENTIRELY OF CHICKEN

DECATUR, IL. (SatireWire.com) -- Agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland today announced it has successfully produced a pig made entirely of chicken. Read more

NRA RESEARCH FINDS GUN CRIME RAMPANT BEFORE GUNS INVENTED

FAIRFAX, VA (SatireWire.com) -- Expanding on their theory that more guns lead to less gun crime, and therefore fewer guns lead to more gun crime, NRA-backed researchers today said they… Read more

TALIBAN ALSO WILL ARM WOMEN TO FIGHT OPPRESSORS… OH, WAIT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Responding to America’s decision to allow women in combat, Taliban leaders today vowed to give guns to their women too so they could fight off their… Read more

LANCE ARMSTRONG CALLS SELF LIAR, DENIES HE SPOKE TO OPRAH

AUSTIN, TX (SatireWire.com) — Lance Armstrong today lashed out at himself for confessing to Oprah Winfrey, calling himself a liar and threatening to sue anyone, including himself, who claims they… Read more

MANTI TE’O’S GIRLFRIEND SPEAKS OUT FROM FAKE HEAVEN

(SatireWire.com) – I may be up here in fake heaven with the make-believe angels and the cardboard St. Peter and the CGI Pearly Gates, but my outrage on behalf of… Read more

PEOPLE GET FLU WAITING IN LINE FOR FLU SHOTS

BOSTON, MA (SatireWire.com) -- Americans crowding into hospitals, clinics and doctor’s offices to get flu shots are now the number one cause of the spread of the flu, according to… Read more
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