NRA TO GUN OWNERS: BUY 2ND GUN TO PROTECT SELF FROM 1ST GUN

FAIRFAX, VA (SatireWire.com) – Conceding a firearm in the home increases the risk of gun-related violence, but sticking to their belief that the only way to stop someone with a… Read more

NORTH KOREA RUNS OUT OF THREATS

PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- In this episode, All-Powerful Great Leader Kim Jong-un meets with the North Korean Threat and Provocation Committee, which has some bad news. Read more

U.S. BRAIN MAPPING PROJECT TO BE BASED ON APPLE MAPS

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- Apple today announced its mapping software will be used in the government’s new $100 billion brain mapping project, a decision that has already produced breakthroughs as… Read more

RUTGERS FIRES ABUSIVE COACH, VOWS TO STOP RECRUITING PANSIES

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ (SatireWire.com) – An apologetic Rutgers University fired men’s basketball coach Mike Rice today and promised to clamp down on anti-gay, derogatory slurs in its program by cutting… Read more

CITY ALSO PASSES LAW REQUIRING RESIDENTS TO TALK ALL THE TIME

NELSON, GA (SatireWire.com) -- One day after standing up for the Second Amendment by passing a law making gun ownership mandatory, the city of Nelson, Ga., today applied the same… Read more

IF JESUS' DISCIPLES WERE WASHINGTON POLITICIANS

SERMON ON THE MOUNT (SatireWire.com) -- JESUS: Alright, you all have copies of my speech. Let’s start with my first Beatitude: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is… Read more

IN HIS HEAD, CLARENCE THOMAS PEPPERS LAWYERS WITH QUESTIONS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – At a landmark hearing today on gay rights, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas peppered attorneys with an hour-long barrage of incisive and often brilliant questions in… Read more

POWERBALL DROPS NUMBERS FOR SHAPES AS MATH STANDARDS FALL

WEST DES MOINES, IA (SatireWire.com) – Keeping up with declining math standards in the United States, Powerball today announced it has abandoned numbers and will instead use balls painted with… Read more

NORTH KOREA RELEASES VIDEO OF AMERICANS EATING FOOD

PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- In its latest video effort to stoke anti-U.S. sentiment among its citizens, North Korean today released a four-minute video showing Americans eating food. Read more

ESPN SUSPECTS HACK AS TSINGHUA UNIV. LEADS NCAA BRACKET PICKS

BRISTOL, CT (SatireWire.com) – Every one of the 1.2 billion NCAA tournament brackets submitted online to ESPN predicts that China’s Tsinghua University will beat the "University of Kansastan” to win… Read more
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