INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE 'MONEY'

Companies Confused Over Having to Take Something Other Than Stock Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet stock drop has done more than just lop off paper profits. Start-ups, which… Read more

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

“A ‘ wild abstract painting ‘ bought at a garage sale and auctioned off over the Internet with a starting bid of 25 cents sold for $135,805 in a bidding… Read more

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR'S PRIVATES?

Amazon, eBay, Raging Bull Advertising Boy’s ‘Male Equipment’ TERRELL, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – What began as an insecure boy’s search for self-esteem ended in shock and embarrassment for a 15-year-old Texas… Read more

MAJOR SITES HAWKING MINOR'S PRIVATES (page 2)

“I don’t know about you, but my privates are worth a lot to me,” said Hanson. “I would never sell them at cost. That’s demeaning.” Nearly as demeaning, said Hanson,… Read more

DOT-COMS "JUST KIDDING" ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

Profitless Internet Firms Insist They’re Unfairly Labeled as Profitless Internet Firms SAN JOSE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Arguing they are being unfairly labeled as money-losing dot-coms, nearly 400 money-losing dot-coms announced… Read more

WINDOWS HAS FRENCH DNA

May Explain Software’s Surly Behavior, Say Analysts REDMOND, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft revealed today it has been regularly embedding DNA strings from a French citizen into the code of its… Read more

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

“A new computer system will offer one-stop shopping for online information about the federal government, President Clinton said Saturday. Logging on to one Web site, firstgov.gov, will yield links to… Read more

MINDSPRING DEMANDS ANNULMENT

Merger with EarthLink a “Mistake,” Says Embarrassed ISP ATLANTA, GA (SatireWire.com) – Internet access provider MindSpring has filed in a Georgia Superior Court for an annulment of its recently completed… Read more

FED PRESCRIBES 'CONTROLLED BURN' OF DOT.COMS

Most Aggressive Move Yet Would Thin Out ‘Overgrown’ Sector WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Comparing the Internet to an uncontrolled and overcrowded forest, the Federal Reserve today authorized a “prescribed burn”… Read more

AT NEW BREED OF VERTICAL SEARCH ENGINES, THE RESULTS ARE COMING FAST AND FEW

“Vearch” Sites Promise (and Deliver) Instant, Relevant Answers SEATTLE, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – Despite numerous refinements, most search engines still return too many results, but now a handful of new, highly… Read more
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