NEW ORLEANS (SatireWire.com) -- Taking a page from Rush Limbaugh’s penitent play book, NFL defenders who won cash bounties for injuring opponents apologized today, explaining that the “kill shots” they…
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NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – With seven consecutive strong games under his belt, point guard sensation Jeremy Lin has set a New York Knicks franchise record for not sucking.
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NORFOLK, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Ending a dramatic 24 hours for college football, Jimmy Taswell-Berk, a second-string senior quarterback and one of the nation’s most mediocre high school players, has committed…
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BOSTON (SatireWire.com) – Tired of living in Tim Tebow’s shadow, Jesus Christ left the Denver Broncos today and signed as a free agent with the New England Patriots, who will…
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HOUSTON, TX (SatireWire.com) – Penn State and Syracuse will face each other in the inaugural BP-Herman Cain-Blackberry-Catholic Church Denial Bowl on Christmas morning, school officials announced today.
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TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) – Eight games behind the division leaders and losing confidence, the Tampa Bay Rays today announced one of their players will have to be killed in order…
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CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- In an in-depth interview on ESPN, Chicago Bulls forward Joakim Noah apologized again for making an anti-gay remark to a fan during a recent playoff game, saying…
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CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- The Chicago Bulls took game one from the Miami Heat 103-82 on Sunday thanks to hot shooting from point guard Derrick Rose and a crucial 3rd quarter…
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MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. (SatireWire.com) – Declaring He’s “about had it up to here,” a frustrated God said today the collapse of the Metrodome roof on Sunday was not a blessing in…
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WINDEREMERE, FL (SatireWire.com) -- His reputation destroyed by addictions to sex and himself, Tiger Woods began using his Twitter account today, his advisors hoping a chatty, down-to-earth persona will somehow…
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