HACKERS BEG BORING PEOPLE TO STOP ENCRYPTING EMAIL

Security Experts Concur Most of You Have Nothing Worth Encrypting Anyway San Jose, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – In an unusual worldwide appeal, the International Brotherhood of Computer Hackers today asked particularly… Read more

"HACKERS-FOR-NADER" DELIVER SURPRISE VICTORY

Group’s ‘Get Out and Change the Vote’ Campaign Influences Dozens of Races WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Oval Office was snatched away from Al Gore and George W. Bush Wednesday… Read more

APPEALS COURT RULES MICROSOFT NEEDS MORE TIME TO KILL OFF COMPETITORS

Netscape Knocked Off During First Trial Phase, Oracle Will Take Longer Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – A federal appeals court Thursday reversed the Microsoft breakup and sent the case back to… Read more

DOT-COMS "JUST KIDDING" ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

Profitless Internet Firms Insist They’re Unfairly Labeled as Profitless Internet Firms SAN JOSE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Arguing they are being unfairly labeled as money-losing dot-coms, nearly 400 money-losing dot-coms announced… Read more

New Attention Deficit Drug Is… Um…

New York, N.Y (SatireWire.com) – Drugmaker Eli Lilly and Co. on Wednesday said that late-stage tests of its experimental treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) showed it to be… Read more

Tiny Net Company Insists It's a Goddamned Bellwether

Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists… Read more

Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

Secaucus, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign that senseless geek-on-geek crime is out of control, a 13-year-old honor student and computer genius was arrested yesterday for allegedly killing a… Read more

FISHER GLITCH REVEALED

Bellevue, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Due to a software glitch at popular Web site the Internet Movie Database, (IMDB.com) Carrie Fisher, star of the Disney horror movie ‘Carrie,’ about a family… Read more

JUDGE DENIES BIAS AGAINST "GUILTY MICROSOFT BASTARDS"

“My Published Comments About Those Evil Pricks Were Misconstrued,” Jackson Says Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Attempting to keep both his reputation and ruling intact, Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson today apologized… Read more

SURPRISE SETTLEMENT EVENLY SPLITS MICROSOFT; ONE FIRM TO MAKE SOFTWARE, OTHER TO MAKE PATCHES

Decision Keeps Redmond from Monopolizing Massive Microsoft Patch Industry Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise settlement today with nine U.S. states, Microsoft agreed to be split into two independent… Read more
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