FBI Vows to Address, Track, Record Concerns

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Seeking to quell fears it will abuse its newly acquired powers of surveillance, the FBI today promised it would not only respond to any concerns, but… Read more

Bush Pledges Republican Internet If Elected

Philadelphia, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – In a speech accepting his party’s nomination, George W. Bush pledged to wrest control of the Internet from its creator, Vice President Al Gore, and turn… Read more

Dems Accused of Pointing Wrong Finger

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Democratic finger-pointing over how the Bush administration handled terrorist threats prior to 9/11 intensified today as Republicans accused their opponents of purposely pointing at the White… Read more

House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The anti-spam bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives Tuesday was sent to the Senate today, but the Senate’s spam filtering software automatically determined it… Read more

Ruling Lets Pilots Act All Crazy

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a long-awaited decision, the Transportation Security Administration today denied a request that would have allowed airline pilots to carry firearms in the cockpit, but said… Read more

FBI TARGETS PARANOID

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The FBI disclosed today that it has been systematically reading and deleting email messages sent to and from paranoid people. According to a Bureau spokesman, the… Read more

FBI Offers Reward for Whereabouts Of FBI Investigation

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – More than six months after several letters containing weaponized anthrax were mailed across the country, FBI director Robert Mueller today announced his agency would offer a… Read more

AD NETWORK RELENTS

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Online advertising network DoubleClick, under fire from the New York state attorney general for its now-scrapped plan to personally identify Web surfers and their habits… Read more

Bush: "How About Historical Re-Enactment?"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – After having his previous overtures rejected, President Bush today surprised Arab nations by renouncing his intentions to invade Iraq and instead suggesting the two countries establish… Read more

SOUTH DAKOTA GOES DIGITAL

PIERRE, S.D. (SatireWire.com) – As his first act in office, Gov. Jim Barksdale signed an executive order today renaming the state “E-Dakota.” The state’s 860,000 residents, as well as livestock,… Read more
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