NYC STREETS PRE-LINED WITH PEOPLE FOR MARATHON

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – The New York City Marathon will go on as planned Sunday because nothing says New York is back to normal like thousands of perfectly healthy individuals… Read more

(FAKE) FACT-CHECKING THE DEBATE

BOCA RATON, FL (SatireWire.com) – President Obama did not apologize to the world but did have make-up sex with India, while Mitt Romney supports Israel so much he wants to… Read more

FBI LAUNCHES OWN AL QAEDA CELL TO LURE WOULD-BE TERRORISTS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- In an effort to streamline terrorist sting operations, the FBI today said it has launched its own al Qaeda cell, which is much better funded… Read more

MATH COMMITS SUICIDE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Math – the universal science of number, quantity, shape, and space – was found dead in a Dupont Circle hotel room this morning, the apparent victim… Read more

ROMNEY, IN DRAG, DENIES HE HAS TACKED TOO FAR LEFT

SAN FRANCISCO (SatireWire.com) – In a spirited stump speech today, Mitt Romney denied he has changed positions or tacked to the left, although observers couldn’t help but notice the Governor… Read more

SURVEY MORE OR LESS SAYS HALF OF AMERICANS GOING TO HELL

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- For the first time in the nation’s history, the majority of Americans are not Protestant and are therefore going to hell, a new Pew Research poll… Read more

KITCHENAID APOLOGIZES FOR OFFENSIVE TWEET, APPLIANCES

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- After apologizing for a company tweet that mocked the death of Barack Obama’s grandmother, KitchenAid today confessed it also sells a food processor that makes fun of… Read more

OBAMA LOSES DEBATE; ALSO ANY HOPE FOR ANNIVERSARY SEX

DENVER, CO. (SatireWire.com) – Following his weak showing in Wednesday’s debate with Mitt Romney, President Obama’s 20th wedding anniversary ended in further disappointment as sources say the First Lady refused… Read more

BILL REQUIRES SCHOOLS TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN, BEAR OUR CHILDREN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Teachers in public schools, increasingly burdened with the responsibility of raising the nation's children, will have to bear the nation’s children as well, according to a… Read more

IN THE LAIR OF GENITAL QAEDA: LIFE IN AN UNDERWEAR BOMBER CAMP

YEMEN (SatireWire.com) -- The days are long, the training merciless, the mission terrifying. And in the end, if you’re very, very successful, your groin explodes. Such is the short, painful… Read more
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