Americans Told to Have Sex with the Dutch

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to a new report claiming young people in the Netherlands are less likely than their American counterparts to get pregnant or carry sexually transmitted diseases,… Read more

Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – The value of Osama bin Laden’s rookie card has dropped nearly in half in the past week, as experts say the once-hot collectible appears to be… Read more

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH "INTENT TO ATTACK" NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

U.S. Also Needs Invasion, Demolition, Military Housing Permits Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Already frustrated by seemingly endless delays, U.S. officials today conceded a confusing knot of new Iraqi regulations that… Read more

ENRON ADMITS IT'S REALLY ARGENTINA

Now Massive Ineptitude, Corruption Make More Sense, Analysts Say Houston, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Energy company Enron, which collapsed due to gross mismanagement and insurmountable debt, today confessed to what many… Read more

Bush: "Dad Left Wallet in Iraq"

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia (SatireWire.com) – Arab leaders today said they were skeptical of George W. Bush’s latest assertion regarding Iraq: that his father left his wallet in Baghdad and the… Read more

World Bank Wants to Help Afghans Amass Staggering Debt Burden

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The World Bank this week said it plans to extend loans to rebuild Afghanistan once a new government is installed, a pledge bank officials and Afghan… Read more

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

“Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that’s visible as far south as Washington, D.C.” – National Post,… Read more

BIN LADEN FEARED TO HAVE SEGWAY SCOOTER

Has Threatened to Produce Transportation Device of Mass Distribution Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – U.S. forces searching an abandoned Al Qaeda hideout today said they found diagrams of skateboards, gyroscopic technology,… Read more

Debate Rages Over Physician-Assisted Suicide Bombing

Jenin, West Bank (SatireWire.com) – Having nearly exhausted its supply of young martyrs, the militant group Hamas today asked a Palestinian court to approve of physician-assisted suicide bombing, arguing the… Read more

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Islamabad, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – High-ranking Taliban official Sohail Shaheen challenged the United States to launch a major ground assault on his country on Friday, insisting that “15 or 20 (U.S.)… Read more
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