“Factory Orders Plunge 7.5 Percent” – AP Headline, 9/01/00 Factories Also Can’t Be Purchased Online, Say Analysts WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Commerce Department yesterday reported that U.S. factory orders…
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U.N. to Provide Aid to Thousands Forced to Flee Their Jobs NEAR EMERYVILLE, CALIF. (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed by “deplorable” conditions at swelling dot-com relocation camps, the United Nations High Commissioner…
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Companies Confused Over Having to Take Something Other Than Stock Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet stock drop has done more than just lop off paper profits. Start-ups, which…
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Fayetteville, Ark. (SatireWire.com) – Emerging from the deep, isolated cavern where its executives apparently have been hibernating for the past two years, Wal-Mart Friday proudly announced it will roll out…
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Nags Head, N.C. (SatireWire.com) – Consumer Confidence, noticeably eroding over the past several months, finally succumbed today as a giant wave of economic uncertainty sent it toppling into the Atlantic…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Taking their cue from Internet companies that have recently hired hackers to improve site security, several struggling online firms announced today they will hire unbearably…
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Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Securities and Exchange Commission today declared troubled health site DrKoop.com a public finance hazard and ordered that it display a warning label alerting the public…
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Palo Alto, Cal. (Satirewire.com) – Speaking before a group of investment bankers, Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina yesterday announced that unlike the chief executives at competitors Compaq, Dell, Gateway, and…
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Relationship Falls Well Below Expectations New York, N.Y. (SatireWire) – Laura Feldstein (Brooklyn, 24) today announced disappointing results in her relationship with skeezing loser boyfriend Derek McHugh (Brooklyn, 27) for…
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With Crackdown Mandate, Cops Randomly Hassling "People of White Collar" New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Statistically speaking, David Bates had all the earmarks of a potential criminal: he was well-groomed,…
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