Decision Keeps Redmond from Monopolizing Massive Microsoft Patch Industry Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise settlement today with nine U.S. states, Microsoft agreed to be split into two independent…
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Intel Wants to Form Gintel Alliance; Greenspan Warns of “Ginger Bubble” MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – Although only a handful of people know the secret identity of “Ginger” – a product…
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Lucent, PSINet Among Those Eligible for New Chapter 51 Protection Ashburn, Va. (SatireWire.com) – A week after stating it may have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy but nonetheless wants…
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Chicago (SatireWire.com) – Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no…
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Wausau, Wis. (SatireWire.com) – Bart Garmon, president and chief executive officer of BartGarmon.com, a now solo Web design shop that is shedding employees and quickly running out of cash, insists…
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Hackettstown, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Need a little sugar kick going into that meeting but don’t want to wait the 90 seconds it normally takes for the sugar to get into…
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San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a…
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New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – A pair of Brooklyn teenagers were being held on suspicion they played the old ‘duck and tumble’ trick on Consumer Confidence, which fell in June…
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Relationship Falls Well Below Expectations New York, N.Y. (SatireWire) – Laura Feldstein (Brooklyn, 24) today announced disappointing results in her relationship with skeezing loser boyfriend Derek McHugh (Brooklyn, 27) for…
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With Crackdown Mandate, Cops Randomly Hassling "People of White Collar" New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Statistically speaking, David Bates had all the earmarks of a potential criminal: he was well-groomed,…
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