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Seattle, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Pigs flying over the frozen landscape of hell reported that online retailer Amazon.com turned in the first profit in its history on Tuesday, just moments after the sun set in the East.
“Amazon is proud to announce that in our fourth quarter, we achieved a net profit of $5 million on revenues of $1.1 billion,” said Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, as monkeys flew out of his butt.
Bezos cut short the press conference to join the victory parade for the World Series champion Chicago Cubs, which was winding its way through the eye of a needle led by a camel.
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