( If You’d Prefer a More Subtle Version of This Story, Click Here)

Honestly, We’re Not Making This SHT Up

Manchester, N.H ( – After a year-long buildup during which it was known as the mysterious “Ginger” or “IT,” the revolutionary, scooter-like “Segway Human Transporter” was unveiled Monday without first being checked for its potential acronym.

Really Cool SHT

As a result, the media was full of SHT stories, while investors on Wall Street were hoping inventor Dean Kamen would take his cool SHT public so they could get a piece of SHT.

Word about the electric-powered transportation machine was leaked last year, but it took more than 10 years for Kamen and his team to get their SHT together. When the device was introduced Monday on ABC’s Good Morning America, riders who took an initial SHT spin were visibly impressed.

“I can’t believe this SHT!” said ABC’s Diane Sawyer. “It’s so fun and stable and quiet. Wow. SHT.”

“Boy, I hope no one’s looking because I really want to take a SHT right now!” joshed good-natured co-host Charles Gibson.

Gibson will have to wait, however. The company is currently producing only a big SHT for commercial use, and won’t make a little SHT for consumers until the 2002 holiday season, said Kamen.

At $3,000 each, however, the consumer model may be out of reach of all but the most generous of gift givers. “If it’s three grand, there’s no way I can give a SHT,” said Holly Dumal of Princeton, N.J. “I wish they’d make a cheap SHT.”

Kamen replied that the company would never give its SHT away, but promised a less expensive version was “definitely on our SHT list.”

Also in the works: a specially designed device for use by Pope John Paul that will speed the aging pontiff around the Vatican and St. Peters Square. It’s name: the Holy SHT.

Copyright © 1999-2009, SatireWire.

Related Posts

WordPress Appliance - Powered by TurnKey Linux