58 PERCENT OF AMERICANS' FANTASIES NOW APPLE-RELATED

BLOOMINGTON, IN. (SatireWire.com) – According to a new study, 58 percent of Americans' fantasies are now Apple-related. Read more

GOP PLAN CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, BUT DECLARES SENIORS ‘AMAZING’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In another attempt to slash the debt without alienating voters, Republicans today unveiled a proposal that cuts Social Security 50 percent but declares everyone over age… Read more

CONGRES CUTS OFF LAST ‘S’ FOR 'SAVINGS'

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a bipartisan effort to prove it is serious about deficit reduction, Congres today voted to leave off the last ‘s’ in ‘Congres’ for savings. Read more

CONGRESSWOMAN ACCUSED OF INAPPROPRIATELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MALE STAFFER

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – Democratic Illinois Congresswoman Jennifer Wigan faces ethics charges after admitting to a platonic, respectful, and mutually fulfilling professional relationship with a male staffer. Read more

U.S. SETS SWEAT PRODUCTION RECORD

ST. LOUIS (SatireWire.com) – America’s sweltering summer of 2011 does have a bright side: U.S. sweat production is at record highs. Read more

RAYS PLAN PLAYER’S DEATH TO INSPIRE VICTORY

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) – Eight games behind the division leaders and losing confidence, the Tampa Bay Rays today announced one of their players will have to be killed in order… Read more

MURDOCH TO CLOSE SCOTLAND YARD

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Britain’s phone-hacking scandal has claimed another News International subsidiary as media baron Rupert Murdoch today told Parliament he will shut down Scotland Yard. Read more

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA' SNAPS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bad-tempered deficit reduction talks hit bottom today as the White House and Republicans abandoned compromise and sunk to trading “Yo Mama’s So Fiscally Incompetent” barbs. Read more

CITING CREATIVE DIFFERENCES, NAVY SEAL TEAM 6 BREAKS UP

OCEANA, VA. (SatireWire.com) -- Just two months after its breakthrough hit, the hugely popular Navy SEAL Team 6 has broken up, a Navy spokesman confirmed today. Read more

AMERICAN DREAM WILL NOW INCLUDE DESSERT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a move to rekindle the nation’s economic spirit while acknowledging its all-you-can-eat nature, the White House today announced the American Dream will now include dessert. Read more
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