NATION HAVING HARD TIME GIVING SHIT ABOUT AOL-TIME WARNER MERGER

Largest Merger in Media History Seen as Historic, Revolutionary, Whatever DULLES, VA. (SatireWire.com) – Continually bombarded by news that the AOL-Time Warner merger would create the world’s first fully integrated… Read more

STUDY FINDS YOU REALLY DON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE

In Grand Scheme of Things, Your Hard Work, Diligence, Found to Mean Squat London, England (SatireWire.com) – In an unprecedented study, British and American researchers have concluded that despite what… Read more

AT&T NOT IN SERVICE AT THIS TIME

Cutback Program’s ‘Remarkable Success’ Cited for Demise NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Less than one year after AT&T’s surprise decision to eliminate 120 percent of its workforce, (see story), the… Read more

AT&T TO CUT WORKFORCE 120 PERCENT

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- AT&T will reduce its workforce by an unprecedented 120 percent by the end of 2001, believed to be the first time a major corporation has… Read more

ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS

Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry… Read more

INVESTORS STUNNED TO LEARN CISCO NOT JUST STOCK, ALSO COMPANY THAT MAKES THINGS

Betrayed Shareholders Not Particularly Interested in Routers, Switches San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The rumors about Cisco Systems have been circulating for months, but the earnings warning and plunge in… Read more

FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT OUTLOOK

Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn’t Like Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) – Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec’s AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that… Read more

AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT" ON INTERNET

Web’s Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans’ Worldview PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to… Read more

RECORD 75 MILLION AMERICANS NOW PRETENDING THEY OWN THEIR OWN HOMES

Low Interest Rates Help Many Fulfill The American (Banker’s) Dream Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) – Showing no ill effects from a weak economy, housing numbers released by the National Association of… Read more

CORRECTION: BUSH FAINTS AFTER "CHOKING THE PRETZEL," NOT "CHOKING ON PRETZEL"

Presidential History Replete with Euphemisms for Staring at the Stars Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – White House spokesman Ari Fleischer today said a miscommunication with the President’s medical staff caused a… Read more
WordPress Appliance - Powered by TurnKey Linux