WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Paul Ryan hasn’t returned Mitt Romney’s phone calls since the election because he’s probably so busy catching up with work, according to the defeated GOP presidential candidate, who said it’s cool he’ll just, you know, maybe call another time or drop by Ryan’s house, although he has tried that several times but Ryan must not have been home or something.
Romney added that his former running mate definitely would want to stay in touch since they both went through a lot together and are really tight even though yesterday when Romney was in the Capitol hallway and waved at Ryan, the Congressman suddenly got an urgent cell phone call and turned away which was weird because Romney was really waving quite forcefully and yelling, ‘Paul! Hey Paul!”, but probably not loud enough come to think of it.
Despite the misconnections, the Republican also-ran dismissed suggestions that rising-star Ryan was purposefully distancing himself from their failed White House run, adding that it’s perfectly understandable for a guy to cross to the other side of K Street when you’re walking up to him if, say, your side of K Street is in the shade and the other side of K Street is in the sun and it’s cold outside like it was when Ryan did that yesterday.
“No no, Paul and I are super-duper close,” Romney insisted. “We’re just having logistical problems right now. Like this morning I get on the train to ride into D.C. with him, and next thing I know he gets onto an outbound train going the other way. Maybe he had a dental appointment in Alexandria or something. My fault really. I should have checked with his secretary.”
Of course that’s been difficult too because Ryan’s appointment secretary doesn’t seem to know who Romney is, but maybe she doesn’t recognize him, which kind of makes sense because the “Romney/Ryan” signs that used to be all over Ryan’s office seem to have been removed or covered in masking tape, the former Massachusetts governor couldn’t help but notice.
Ryan press secretary Michael Steel, meanwhile, said “Mitt” was a very unusual name and the Congressman certainly would remember having met someone with a name like that, which he hasn’t.
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