French Successfully Increase Enmity Toward French

Briefs in a BriefParis (SatireWire.com) – The French, apparently concerned that the world’s antipathy toward them might soften, handed a victory Sunday to ultra nationalist Jean-Marie Le Pen, who will now take on Jacque Chirac for president.

Le Pen, who has called the holocaust a “detail of history” and blamed immigrants for most of the country’s social ills, surprisingly tallied the second-most votes in the first round of presidential elections. As a result, French voters successfully eliminated both front-runner Lionel Jospin, and any chance that the rest of the planet will like them.

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