WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a bipartisan effort to prove it is serious about deficit reduction, Congres today voted to leave off the last ‘s’ in ‘Congres’ for savings.
“We in Congres care so much about saving your money that we’ve changed our name to prove it,” said House Speaker John Boehner, (R-OH). “We’ve removed that last ‘s,’ and our loss is your gain because that ‘s’ stands for savings!”
“That’s right America,” added Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, (D-NV). “We’re cutting it all back and passing the savings on to you!”**
Asked what specifically would be cut back, other than the letter s, the Congresional leaders agreed one thing that would not be cut back was the opportunity to save.
“Americans are disgusted,” said Reid. “They want to feed their families, pay their mortgages, and reinvest in the American dream.”
“We want that too,” said Boehner, “which is why, until Aug. 2, we’re taking off the ‘s’ in Congres and giving it to you! And you know what that means…”
“Savings savings savings!” said Reid.
“Galore,” added Boehner.
In response, a CNN/Gallup poll showed 98 percent of Americans think Congres is useles.
** Actual cutbacks not guaranteed. Savings par value equal to 0.000001 percent of 0.01 cent. Restrictions apply. Void in states running a deficit. Offer expires Aug. 2. See your Congresperson for details.
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