Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Has Smaller Employees

Sunnyvale, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – In response to Intel’s statement that it will produce transistors only three atoms wide by 2005, rival chipmaker Advanced Micro Devices announced today that most of… Read more

King's e-Book Plants Virus

Bangor, Maine (SatireWire.com) – Novelist Stephen King, who expects 1.5 million people to download his e-book, The Plant, announced today he will publish an online sequel called The Virus, what… Read more

STING SUNK

Bellevue, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Due to yet another software glitch at the Internet Movie Database, Sting, the former lead singer of The Temptations who is best known for his portrayal… Read more

Americans Told to Have Sex with the Dutch

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Reacting to a new report claiming young people in the Netherlands are less likely than their American counterparts to get pregnant or carry sexually transmitted diseases,… Read more

Dotcomguy Drops 'Dotcom' From Name

DALLAS, TEXAS (SatireWire.com) – In the strongest signal yet that “Internet-only” has become a verbal albatross, DotComGuy – the Texas man who lives entirely off the Internet and hasn’t left… Read more

'I Love You' Email Recipient Still Waits For Flowers, Phone Call

Dallas, Texas (SatireWire.com) – It’s been three months since Angelina Dupree received an email declaring “I Love You,” but the 33-year-old divorcee said today she’s given up hope of ever… Read more

WARNING ISSUED VIRUS

San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Many the major Internet security firms today issued a warning the PrepNaught virus, which comes attached an email and automatically erases prepositions all files a user’s… Read more

Report That Pessimists Die Sooner – No Big Surprise to Pessimists

New York (SatireWire.com) – A study issued Tuesday claiming that pessimists have more long-term health problems than positive people just proves pessimists were right, say pessimists. Read more
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