U.S. PROMISES TO CONSULT ALLIES BEFORE DOING WHAT IT WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY

Pledges Not to Move Alone Unless It Does Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bowing to international pressure not to act unilaterally, the United States reversed course today and promised to consult… Read more

Ships, Thatcher, No Longer "She"

London (SatireWire.com) – The shipping industry newspaper Lloyd’s List, one of the world’s oldest publications, announced Wednesday it will no longer use the feminine pronoun “she” when referring to ships,… Read more

Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

Okinawa, Japan (SatireWire.com) – The world’s poorest nations reacted with elation yesterday after learning the G-8 economic powers have pledged to bring them into the digital economy by wiring their… Read more

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN… WAIT… CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

ARABIAN SEA (SatireWire.com) -- Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect… Read more

FRENCH JUDGE GIVES TALIBAN WIN

Afghan Fighters’ Artistic Impression Marks Mysteriously Higher Salt Lake City, Utah (SatireWire.com) – Despite making what most observers agreed were “obvious technical errors,” such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded… Read more

Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Beaten

Harare, Zimbabwe (SatireWire.com) – Asked to comment Thursday about his loss to Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe in this week’s election, which has been called a fraud by many in the… Read more

IMF Rate Hike Suggestion Proves Hike Not Needed

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In what analysts are calling “a definitive sign” that Fed rate hikes have indeed quelled the U.S. economy and are no longer necessary, the International Monetary… Read more

THE SOU'WESTER ALLIANCE: AFGHANISTAN'S FORGOTTEN WARRIORS

ZARANJ, AFGHANISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- As the dust and smoke of battle settled across Afghanistan, all eyes turned to the triumphant Northern and Eastern alliances, but there is another courageous Afghani… Read more

ARAFAT, SHARON WALK OFF SET OF "ISRAEL"

Temperamental Stars Say They’re Tired of Playing Dogmatic Jerks Jerusalem (SatireWire.com) – Sources on the set of “Israel,” history’s longest-running drama, say irascible stars Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian… Read more

Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – In response to U.S. President George Bush’s $379 billion proposed military budget, which calls for high-tech weaponry such as pilotless spy aircraft and a missile shield, al… Read more
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