RANKED 25th IN WORLD IN MATH, U.S. STUDENTS GLAD TO "BE IN TOP 10"

VIENNA, AUSTRIA (SatireWire.com) – A key academic assessment released today ranked America’s high schoolers 25th in the world in math, a showing that pleased U.S. students who figure that at… Read more

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – In order to coerce a reluctant and image-starved Belgium into taking a Guantanamo Bay detainee, the U.S. pledged the tiny nation friendship, popularity, and a cool second… Read more

POPE TO GET MITRE RIBBED

VATICAN CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In the second revelation in as many days, Pope Benedict XVI announced today he not only supports condom use, but intends to promote the cause by… Read more

IRELAND BECOMES MOST LOVEABLE NATION TO FAIL

DUBLIN, IRELAND (SatireWire.com) -- Out of money and time, Ireland yesterday requested a financial bailout, becoming what analysts agreed is the most loveable country ever to go under. Read more

FUTURE QUEEN LOOKS FORWARD TO DESCENDING INTO LUNACY

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – In the first interview since her engagement to Prince William, presumptive Queen Consort Kate Middleton said today she looks forward to becoming a full-fledged member of the… Read more

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA (SatireWire.com) -- In an unusually provocative and candid speech, President Barack Obama today demanded that North Korea abandon its nuclear program, warning the secretive nation, “Don’t fuck… Read more

FRENCH STRIKES TO END AS PROTESTERS FORM UNION, TAKE MANDATED VACATION

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Strikes that have rocked France for more than a month will abruptly end tomorrow as protesters announced they have all joined a protesters union and will immediately… Read more

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

BEIJING (SatireWire.com) -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which… Read more

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH "INTENT TO ATTACK" NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

U.S. Also Needs Invasion, Demolition, Military Housing Permits Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Already frustrated by seemingly endless delays, U.S. officials today conceded a confusing knot of new Iraqi regulations that… Read more

ENRON ADMITS IT'S REALLY ARGENTINA

Now Massive Ineptitude, Corruption Make More Sense, Analysts Say Houston, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Energy company Enron, which collapsed due to gross mismanagement and insurmountable debt, today confessed to what many… Read more
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