World Bank Wants to Help Afghans Amass Staggering Debt Burden

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The World Bank this week said it plans to extend loans to rebuild Afghanistan once a new government is installed, a pledge bank officials and Afghan… Read more

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

“Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that’s visible as far south as Washington, D.C.” – National Post,… Read more

BIN LADEN FEARED TO HAVE SEGWAY SCOOTER

Has Threatened to Produce Transportation Device of Mass Distribution Kandahar, Afghanistan (SatireWire.com) – U.S. forces searching an abandoned Al Qaeda hideout today said they found diagrams of skateboards, gyroscopic technology,… Read more

Debate Rages Over Physician-Assisted Suicide Bombing

Jenin, West Bank (SatireWire.com) – Having nearly exhausted its supply of young martyrs, the militant group Hamas today asked a Palestinian court to approve of physician-assisted suicide bombing, arguing the… Read more

Taliban Spokesman Bets On U.S. Win

Islamabad, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – High-ranking Taliban official Sohail Shaheen challenged the United States to launch a major ground assault on his country on Friday, insisting that “15 or 20 (U.S.)… Read more

BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

Arab Neighbors Suddenly Opposed to New Country in Qualifying Rounds Kananaskis, Canada (SatireWire.com) – U.S. President George Bush today said Palestinians should elect new leaders and adopt sweeping reforms if… Read more

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

G.E.’s Acquiescence Threatens Delicate Balance of Transatlantic Mutual Disdain The Hague (SatireWire.com) – Europe and the U.S. are said to be furious with General Electric after the American firm hinted… Read more

John Howard Says Name Not Euphemism

Sydney (SatireWire.com) – Australian Prime Minister John Howard today insisted his name is real and is not a euphemism or nickname for any part of his anatomy. Howard was forced… Read more

French Strike for Greater Productivity

Paris (SatireWire.com) – Angered over reports that California’s economy has surpassed that of France, dozens of French labor unions staged a massive, nationwide strike Friday, demanding the government investigate possible… Read more

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

Wendy Is Not a Dolphin, But Robert Is “It’s all bad, it all needs to stop,” said a Greenpeace spokesperson, who added the group will no longer send out action… Read more
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