Airlines "Dismayed" by Mid-Air Merger Test

Briefs in a BriefElk Grove, Ill. (SatireWire.com) – The pending merger of United Airlines and U.S. Air hit a snag yesterday after a planned mid-air collision between United and U.S. Air jets suggested it may be difficult to merge the two companies’ equipment and personnel. “In any merger of this kind, the ability to seamlessly integrate is a major factor,” said United CEO James Goodwin. “However, it was clear to us, after the dust settled and the bodies were counted, that although we fly and they fly, perhaps we shouldn’t fly together.”

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