Privacy Policy
IT
It is the purpose of privacy policies to be lengthy and abstruse, and to use terms like “abstruse,” which keeps you, the reader, from figuring out what it is Web sites are really doing with the names, social security numbers, and credit card balances they have acquired by secretly taking control of your computer. SatireWire is not into this, mostly because we just don’t have the time. So here, in short, is the lay of things:
US
SatireWire itself does not collect any personally identifiable information about its visitors. That said, we do want to know what pages our visitors like, so our fancy traffic measurement software does place a cookie on visiting computers, which gives us that information, and tells us if he/she/it is a returning or new computer. It doesn’t do much else, which is kind of disappointing. We thought it could at least record the wind speeds in your location.
SatireWire does use an advertising network, who ask that we plug the following into our privacy policy:
THEM
We use third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit our Web site. These companies may use aggregated information (not including your name, address, email address or telephone number) about your visits to this and other Web sites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like more information about this practice and to know your choices about not having this information used by these companies, click here http://www.networkadvertising.org/managing/opt_out.asp
SATIRICAL PREROGATIVE
SatireWire reserves to right to change its privacy policies at any time, except maybe Monday nights, cause we’re usually playing basketball then.