SatireWire
   
Provider of Satire
SatireWire | dot.com.edy

 

UMTHINGS
History Tour T-Shirts and UmWear. V. Funny, V. Smart

CAMEO
Cool Estate Jewelry. Impress her for once.

PunchBowl
Throw Your Best Party Yet.

FARK.COM
It's not news, it's Drew's.

BBSPOT.COM
It's not Drew, it's Brian

Flag Hill Winery

The Angel Anthony Group
e-solutions for your business



Global March Madness
U.N. SETS "GLOBAL MARCH MADNESS" FIELD
Selection Committee Gives U.S., China No. 1 seeds; Iraq a No. 3 in Mideast

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) Update — "March Madness," the sobriquet of America's NCAA college basketball tournament, has spilled over to the international arena, as the United Nations Selection Committee today named the top 63 countries who will quite literally battle it out in a single elimination, military competition that should answer once and for all who is No. 1.

East Region Analysis
West Region Analysis
Mideast Region Analysis
South Region Analysis

The tournament, which U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan promised would be "just like the NCAA's, except for the part where the losers die," has already sparked controversy among peace activists, who called the contests outrageous.

"I cannot believe they would do this," said WorldPeaceNow communications director Marvin Gundersohn. "I mean, come on, France is a 2-seed in the South? That's a laugh. And no way does Russia deserve a top seed in the Mideast. They're mired in a late 20th Century slump, have no momentum coming in, and have fought a weak schedule."

Women for Peace spokesperson Sharon Cognella, meanwhile, said she has filed an official protest against the tournament with the World Court at the Hague, and has top-seeded China in the office pool, although she thinks sleeper Myanmar could make it to the Final Four.

For an analysis of each of the 16-team regional brackets, click on the links at right or below to see what our international experts, Don and Bill, have to say.

EAST REGIONAL

WEST REGIONAL

MIDEAST REGIONAL

SOUTH REGIONAL


RECOMMEND
THIS PAGE

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

Back to Top

UmThings: we sell, um, things

 



SatireWire: dot.com.edy
SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

Computer Reviews - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Startup Ideas & Small Business Advice - Trade Suppliers Directory - Wholesale Forum - Wholesale Marketplace & Trade Suppliers - Wholesale Directory - Crazy Slots Casino