SATIREWIRE'S SEGWAY SCOOTER COVERAGE
BIN LADEN FEARED TO HAVE SEGWAY SCOOTER
Kandahar, Afghanistan — U.S. forces searching an abandoned Al Qaeda hideout today said they found diagrams of skateboards, gyroscopic technology, and Osama bin Laden riding what appears to be a Razor scooter, further proof that the terrorist leader may have been planning to extend his revolution by producing personal transportation devices of mass distribution.
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INVENTOR UNVEILS MACHINE THAT'S
NOT A GODDAMN SCOOTER, OK?
New York, N.Y. — After a year of intense speculation and unprecedented hype, inventor Dean Kamen on Monday unveiled the "It's Not a Goddamn Scooter, OK?", a revolutionary transportation device that emulates human balance, travels up to 12 miles an hour, and looks an awful lot like a scooter.
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AMAZING NEW "SEGWAY HUMAN TRANSPORTER"
APPARENTLY NOT CHECKED FOR ACRONYM
Manchester, N.H. — After a year-long buildup, the revolutionary, scooter-like "Segway Human Transporter" was unveiled Monday without first being checked for its potential acronym. Honestly, we're not making this SHT up.
Subtle Version...
Not-So-Subtle Version...
SEGWAY MAY SPREAD HEFTY AMERICAN LOOK
Madrid, Spain — Thrilled by the new Segway Human Transporter's ability to eliminate short walks to the store, school, or office, consumers from Spain to Singapore say they will now have the opportunity, not just to dress or act like Americans, but to weigh like Americans.
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