INTRO PAGE 2001 Winners STRICTLY SPAM STRICT RUNNER-UP FREESTYLE FREE RUNNER-UP 2000 Winners STRICTLY SPAM FREESTYLE SatireWire Poems THIS IS NOT SPAM! SPAM RAP GIZA WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME? CONTEST RULES

SATIREWIRE'S 2ND ANNUAL POETRY SPAM

2001 FREESTYLE RUNNER-UP:
"The 23rd Spam" by Sam the Psalmist,Toronto, Ontario
(real name withheld by request)

The 23rd Spam

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my credit and consolidateth my debts,
For as little as $1,750,
If I act now.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me,
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
And can now be 50 Percent Larger in Three Weeks.
Guaranteed.

Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of mine enemies,
Thou annointest my head with oil,
My cup runneth over.
But as an added bonus,
I will receive $1,000.00 cash,
If I complete thy online registration form today.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell forever,
In the House of the Lord,
Which I shall refinanceth,
To take advantage,
Of the lowest mortgage rates in years.

HONORABLE MENTION:
"Runo Roskapostista" by Henri Ruukki, Helsinki, Finland

Runo Roskapostista

This story, sad as it may seem,
Is definitely boring,
I write it as if in a dream,
You read it and start snoring.

I'll have to leave a big chunk out,
I'll go right to the finish:
You wouldn't read the Spam I get
As all of it's in Finnish.

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